i think the hardest part about applying for jobs and internships right now is that i don’t actually know what i want to do, so it’s basically a lot of me thinking that maybe that’s what i want to do, but not being able to justify why i want to do it or why i’d be a perfect candidate for it.
like, i’m sure i could do a decent, if not good, job in any of the positions i currently am looking at. but then i think, do i really have the skills needed for this job? what if this job doesn’t teach me anything? would working this job actually be a waste of my time? what if this job is actually stuff i have already done before and don’t want to do more of?
i know it’s better to try it and figure out that [this] isn’t what i want to do for the rest of my life, but when it comes to having to write a cover letter to apply for the job, it just doesn’t work as well if i’m half-assing the eagerness.
i guess i’m done trying to write cover letters/fix up my resume for now.. and i’m just gonna try to calm down and destress.
I don’t know why people teach kids about "pimples" and "hormones" and "armpit hair," and refrain from telling them that if they don’t achieve their billion-dollar dreams at the age of twenty-one, there will still be much more to life. And that when you fail at your first job, it isn’t going to be the end of the world. And eventually you will realize that each person’s world is different and your only job is to figure out what your best world can be.
omg god pls give me some motivation to write all these cover letters
tomorrow morning i leave for a getaway trip with him to sd ^____^ hehehehehe yay
wanting to feel loved and supported doesn’t make you needy
it makes you human
do not let people make you feel bad for this
as if having needs and wanting them met is a bad thing
as much as i love my room and my friends from home, i think it’s unhealthy for me to live at home. i love the bay area, but i don’t think i can live at home anymore, not in my parents’ house, anyways. there’s always pressure, always stress. no matter how long i am at home, i always feel trapped, feel stuck. i feel powerless. i feel like i have no free will. i can’t function the way i want to, and it just feels like i’m going to explode.
so…it might be a little early to say this, but i don’t think i’m coming home next summer. i can’t do it. i don’t want to do this to myself anymore. i would love to be back in norcal, but i think i’d have to find an apartment or something..